This term I had the pleasure of answering a question about twice-exceptionality and wanted to share with you as I feel the topic is really relevant for our 2e-ers restarting school.

Dear 2E Corner,

Can you please give me some ideas to help my 9-year-old 2E-er (Autistic/ADHD) dissipate energy/aggression after coming home from school or when experiencing overload?

Signed, a Loving Parent

Hi Loving Parent!

I’d like to draw your attention to a phenomenon I feel your 2e-er might be experiencing called ‘After School Restraint Collapse.’ The easiest way to explain this is to think of a closed-up soft drink bottle. All day long that bottle is shaken as the autistic child is trying to process the extra stimulation of school. Then, when they are finally in a safe place, the bottle is opened and they meltdown and collapse after holding it together all day. I suppose a bright way to look at it – your child feels safe enough at home to collapse!

As for ideas to dissipate energy and aggression after coming home – the biggest thing to keep in mind is this child is overstimulated and dysregulated. I would look at safe ways to let off some steam (punching bag, screaming into a pillow). But I would also look at options for recentering and regrounding, such as sitting inside a tent with their iPad, using fidget toys and enjoying some safe food snacks (to fight off the hangries). This will help them re-regulate, noting that screentime is very regulating for autistic folks.

Finally, I’d like to share some resources I used in my early days of learning to understand autism. When doing this, it’s best to look for autistic voices first and foremost. Kristy Forbes is a great start, as are Christina Keeble and Allison Davies. These creators are autistic and provide even more resources to dive into.

Yellow Ladybugs and the ICan Network  are autistic-led organizations supporting autistic youth and who organise events with the aim to connect neurodiverse kids with each other. This can make a huge difference to helping neurodiverse kids understand themselves better and learn how to support themselves better.

There are HEAPS of resources out there but the good news is that the stellar ones are easily found from the places I've listed – so basically when you find one, more will follow. I'd also suggest looking for an OT as they can help support this kind of dysregulation too. When choosing an OT, look for the term ‘neurodiverse affirming’ – this shows the OT is more about supporting the autistic child rather than aiming to ‘fix’ them.

Hope that helps on your journey with supporting your amazing 2e-er as they restart school!

With best wishes,

Sabrina, author of the 2E Corner